Leo's Nightmares
by XxRemciclesxX
Summary: Leo's been having nightmares and he's starting to getting sick. Will his brothers be able to help or will he continue to suffer?
1. Leo Nightmares

_Welcome to Leo's Nightmares! Leo's nightmares is about our Leader who has nightmares and gets sick as they continue. Please enjoy!_

 _Chapter One_

 _Leonardo's Point Of View_

It's been 3 weeks since I have last slept, I've been having nightmares about the last time we fought the shredder, my failure my brother's…dying. I haven't been eating ether, for some apparent reason I can't keep my food down.

"Leo?"

I look up and see Raph's concerned face

"You okay bro?"

"Yea I'm fine"

"You sure? I called ya name like six times and your lookin' a bit pale, maybe we should do sparrin' latea" Raph says stepping closer to me.

"I'm fine Raph lets just go" I say take out my katanas getting into a defensive stance. Raph hesitates but takes out his sais, Raph charges at me and strikes, I roll to avoid his sai as I run to him and our weapons clash together.

We back off each other which makes me stumble slightly, thankfully he didn't notice. We charge again and I dodged the fist he threw. Our weapons crash again and I can feel more of my energy draining from me. Suddenly Raph looks down, looks back and grins. My eyes widen as he sweeps his foot under my legs making me fall. I groan as the impact knocks the breath out of me.

"You okay?" Raph says holding out a hand to me, as I grab it I nod and we start walking to the kitchen "Ya sure ya alright?"

"Yes Raph I'm sure" I answer as we reach the kitchen. Starting to feel a bit dizzy, I sit down.

"What you want ta eat?" Raph asked as he opened the pizza box that was left for us.

"Not hungry" I lied getting up to put water in the kettle

"Too bad" Raph says putting pizza on a plate for me

"Raph I'm not hungry" I repeat and winced as my stomach growled. Raph must have heard it since he put the plate in front of me but the smell was making me sick when suddenly I feel pain in my stomach as it growled. I tried to ignore it but it just got worse which made me moan loudly in pain as I tried to hold myself up. Raph turned to me quickly running to my side helping me stand.

"Leo what is it?! What's wrong?!"

I held onto my brother not wanting to be dragged into the darkness that is trying to claim me. I heard my brother yelling names as I slowly gave into the darkness…

" _LEO!"_

 _Raphael's Point Of View_

I scream Donnie's name when Leo went limp in my grip. I gently slid us down as I laid my bro against me.

"What happened!?" Donnie asked running in with Mike right behind 'im

"I don't know he started moanin' in pain then he collapsed"

"Raph can you bring him to lab? Mikey help me clean the lab" Donnie says as they ran out of the kitchen. I pick Leo up bridal style when he suddenly moaned. "It's alright bro" I walk into the lab and sit on the cot with Leo.

Donnie starts checkin' Leo's vitals, flinchin' every time Leo moaned. "Raph have you noticed anything wrong with Leo?"

"No but he's been getting up earlier than usual"

"How early?"

"Bout 4ish or so"

"Hmm…Leo must be sleep deprived but all of my observations lead to PTSD. The nightmares, the weight lost, not feeling well and being sleep deprived" Don says.

"You knew about the nightmares?" I asked as Donnie looked at me

"Yeah I've been hearing him"

"Um Don? What's PDTL?" Mikey asked confused.

"PTSD is Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It's caused by life-changing events" Don answers "I need to find out how long these nightmares have been going on"

"We'll ask him when he wakes" Mikey says

"Yea right like Leo will open up to us" I say as I looked down at my brother's pained face.

…

It's been three days since Leo's collapsed, he has also started to run a fever and is still having nightmares. We have all been taking shifts but for some reason I can't leave my brother's side. And wh-

"R-Raph?"

My head shot up as I heard my older brother's voice. "Leo?!" I looked into his beautiful hazel eyes. "Thank god"

I watch as Leo looked around in confusion "What happened?"

I was about to answer when Don walks in "Leo? We know about your nightmares. How long has it been since you slept?" Donnie demands.

"How did you find out?" Leo asks fearfully, his eyes wide.

"I've been studying you for the last week and all my observation were leading to PTSD. Why didn't you tell us?" Don asks.

I turn to Leo and he's still staring at Don with wide eyes.

"Leo?" Mikey asked.

Leo's eyes fog over and he starts shaking.

"He's having a panic attack!" Don yells.

"Leo! Leo! Snap out of it!" I scream as I shake his shoulders which makes him take a big breath as his eyes come back into focus again.

"You alright bro?" I asked scanning for anything out of the ordinary.

"Y-yea I'm fine" he says as he sinks back down into the cot

"We'll talk later" Don says slowly

Leo tries to keep his eyes open but he gives in falling asleep immediately

"Why did he do that Don?" Mikey ask.

"…His PTSD is worse than I thought"

…

 _Leonardo's Point Of View_

I open my eyes only to find the lab completely dark, I also noticed a pair of arms around my waist. I put my hand on that person's arm and rub the skin…Raph. I sigh then roll over to face him as looked at me with his big green emerald eyes.

"Hi" he whispers.

"Hi"

He sighs softly and starts rubbing my shell. "Leo…How long have these nightmares been going on?" Raph ask softly.

"…weeks" I answer

"Leo why didn't you tell us?"

"I-I didn't want to worry you"

"You haven't been sleeping or eating, you're losing too much weight and you're making yourself sick! Maybe you can do things on your own but things like this you need to come and talk to us, we love you and nothing will ever change that" Raph says softly.

My eyes water and I let out a soft sob.

"Don't cry Leo"

I don't know how long for cried but Raph held me even when sleep was about to take over…

"Leo?"

"Hmm?" I ask sleepily.

"I need to use the bathroom and you're cuddling me like a teddy bear" My eyes widen and I pull my arms back and watch as he ran out of the room.

"…what time is it?" I ask myself

"A little passed midnight, I really didn't want to wake ya up but I really had ta pee" Raph said as he walked back in

"It's fine" I say as a yawn slipped out. Raph climbs into the bed and pats the spot next to him. I lie down next to him and rub my eyes.

"Goodnight Leo" Raph says as he raps his hands around my shell.

"Night Raphie"

"Don't call me Raphie"

I chuckle then I fall into the world of dreams or should I say…nightmares.

 _My brothers and I were running across the rooftops of New York when a clad of black ninjas surrounded us. We were all in battle when I heard Don scream._

 _I turn around as Don got his neck sliced. "Don! No!" I scream._

 _Then Mike screams next._

 _Hun is holding him by his neck, Mike's feet not touching the ground. Mikey goes limp and Hun drops him to the ground._

 _Then Raph screams._

 _I turn around horrified by the sight._ _Raph's chest was open but on shedders gauntlet was…Raph's heart_

 _Then Raph screams._

 _I turn around horrified by the sight._

 _Raph's chest was open but on shedders gauntlet was_

…

…

…

…

 _Raph's heart_

I gasp loudly as I sat up in bed and starting breathing heavily

"Stop Leo don't have another episode on me, calm down"

I close my eyes and take deep breaths. "Leo breathe with me here" Raph says as I copied his movements and eventually calmed down.

The lab door opened and Don comes in, when he sees me his eyes widen. "Leo…What's wrong?"

"He had a nightmare" Raph says when I didn't answer.

"Are you hungry?" Don asked uncomfortable about the silence.

"No…"

"Leo you need to eat. How about something light? I'll tell Mikey he's been wanting something to do…maybe later we can go top sided for some air" Don says as he walks out

The word topside makes me nervous…what if something happens? Suddenly Mike runs in looking nervous and hides behind me. I was about to ask what happened when an angry Don walks in covered in flour. My eyes widen and I burst out laughing.

…

 _Raphael Point Of View_

"So where are we goin?"

"I don't know where you guys want to go?"

"Docks!" Mikey and Donnie yell. Leo nods so we start running when Leo stops dead in his tracks and pulls out his katanas. Foot ninjas surround us and start attacking

 _This is crazy_

 _Leo don't need this_

 _I promised him nothing would happen now look_

"Leo you alright?!" I yelled hitting 3 ninjas knocking them unconscious

"Ahh let me go ugh!"

I turn around and Fishface had Leo around the neck. "Let him go or so help me i will kill you!"

Fishface only tighten his grip on my older brother's neck which makes Leo gasp as he tried to get air. I charge at Fishface and slam into him but he stumbles but still has Leo in his grip.

"Stop!"

We all stop and stare in horror as he held a knife to Leo's heart who was now unconscious. "Don't you dare!"

"Surrender and you can have your brother"

I look at my brothers and they nod so we drop our weapons and look at Fishface "There. Now give us our brother!" Mikey yells

"Change of plans"

Fishface stabs his knife directly near his heart and throws Leo off the building. I scream and jump off the building to save my brother. I use my graveling hook and grabbed Leo's limp form and swing back ta the roof. once I land, I look around and see Fishface gone and my brothers running to us.

"We won't make it back into the lair into time!" Donnie says putting pressure on Leo's wound.

"What about April's?" Mikey asked

"Too far"

"Leatherhead!"

Once we were in the sewers Leo started to cough but this time I felt something drip down my arm…Blood was flowing freely down Leo's mouth

 _Donatello's Point Of View_

Once I saw Leo's blood filled mouth, I grab Leo from Raph's arms running to Leatherhead. "Don!" I turn around and saw Mikey shaking Raph who was staring ahead, eyes clouded. Cursing under my breath "He went into shock try and snap him out of it! I'm bringing Leo the leatherheads!" I run down to LH's house as quick as i could. "Hold on Leo it's going to ok" I whisper to Leo as I finally reach LH's door.

"LH! Please open the door! Leo needs help!" I scream as I bang on the door. After a moment LH opens the door and without giving him time to speak I run in inside.

"What is going on my friend?" LH asked

"Leo got stabbed" I say as I'm rushing around room.

"Oh dear" LH says as helps me with Leo. "Where are Raphael and Michelangelo?"

"Raph went into shock Mike has to snap him out of it" I say as I grab the tube and slowly put it down Leo's throat and turned on the machine. Leo's body jerked then relaxed as I turn towards the door and see Mikey and…Raph. Thank god.

He pushes me to the side and grabs Leo's hand. "Don…how did he start coughing out blood?" Raph asked fearfully.

"He has internal bleeding since the stab hit his heart" I sign softly and look at LH who was stitching Leo's wound.

"May I ask what has been going on my friends?" LH asked

 _Raphael's Point Of View_

"We started noticing Leo odd behavior a few weeks ago. One day Leo walked into the living room looking panicked. When we asked him what was wrong he said 'just making sure your heads were still on'" Don says.

"He's always pacing in his room when I wake up to get a midnight snack" Mike says.

"And he's always the 1st one up and the last one to sleep" I say as I walk to sit in chair next to Leo's bed and once everyone left I looked at my brother.

"Dang it Leo were just trying to help you. You act like you can do things are your own but holding all this in isn't good. You're not eating or sleeping and we all feel horrible because we didn't notice this sooner. What if you died? We would all blame ourselves for not noticing. Mikey would lose his smile. Don would lock himself in his lab. And me…I would probably kill myself I need you we all do. I know we argue a lot I get that but…i…I god fearless I hope you can hear me. I'm not good at this mushy stuff but…I need you Leo I really do. I would be lost without you fearless. I would miss the sounds of you trainin in the morning, you lecturing us. Man even us arguing I would miss. Just please let us help you Leo"

" _Come on guys hurry up!" Leo yells._

 _"Hey were not fast runners like ya fearless leader!" Raph yells._

 _Leo stops then wait for his brothers. Once they catch up, "So? What you want to do for training?"_

" _How about we play kill the turtles" a voice says._

 _The 4 brothers turn around only to see Fishface and Rahzar_. _They all took out their weapons and started to fight._ _Raph and Don took on Fishface while Leo and Mikey took on Rahzar_ who's _claws hit Leo making him go flying into the wall._

 _"Leo!" Raph screams as Leo falls clutching his stomach. Raph runs at Fishface growling and starts attacking._ _Three of the brothers don't notice a foot ninja about to shot a bow and arrow at Leo_

 _But one does_

 _Don runs full speed towards Leo and pushes him out of the way just as the arrow is shot_ , _But instead of hitting Leo_. _It hit Don right through his head._

" _Don!"_

 _"No!"_

 _"Donnie!"_

 _Don falls only to be caught by Leo. Leo lowers him down slowly crying as his brother dies._ " _Donnie?" Mikey says as he checks Don's pulse. Mikey pulls his hand back and start's bawling._ _Raph eyes widen and he shakes Donnie's limp body._

" _Don! Come on don't do this to us!" Raph screams._

 _Leo silently cries holding on to Don's lifeless body. "I'm sorry little brother…I'm so sorry"_

 _When we got home_ I walked to Leo's room and lay him down gently then get in the bed myself. I sign softly and chuckle when Leo put his head under my chin. I know I'm not the cuddling kind of turtle but right now Leo needs me. I was a bit upset about therapy but I know Leo needs help and I'm going to be the one to do it. My eyes close and I slowly fall asleep with Leo safely in my arms.

…

Whimpering.

That's what I wake up too. Leo is curled up in a ball his shell against my plastron. I gently lift myself up is face was twisted in pain and fear. I gently put my hand on his shoulder and shook it gently. "Wake up bro"

He curls up even tighter and groans in pain. I curse under my breath and shake him a little harder. "Leo you got to wake up man"

Leo's breathing quickness and tears fall down Leo's face slowly. "Dang it Leo! Wake up!" I scream as I grab his face gently which made Leo shoot up from the bed and looked right into my eyes.

"Raphie…can you stay?" Leo whispers

"I ain't leaving ya"

He turns over looking at me. His eyes are red and puffy, "Why won't these nightmares stop?"

My eyes soften as Leo looks at me like a child. "I can't answer bro"

"Ok…thank you for being my cuddle buddy" Leo says with a grin.

My eyes widen and Leo chuckles which turns into a cough. I get nervous as Leo's cough gets deeper when he suddenly he stops and groans in pain.

"Bro? You ok?" Leo looks at me with wide eyes and points to his throat. "What's wrong?"

He jumps up and ran around the room. He takes a pencil and paper and writes something. He hands me the paper and my eyes widen once I finish reading.

" _I lost my voice"_

 _Leonardo's Point Of View_

This isn't happening…it isn't.

"Bro calm down I know this is hard but we can't have you freaking out. Let's go see Don, It's going to be ok" Raph says his face serious

 _I nod, take Raph's hand and he didn't even shrug me off. I follow him to the lab and start thinking._

 _Would I ever get my voice back?_

 _Why didn't I just tell them about my nightmares?_

 _I bet that if I did none of this would have happened._

 _How are my brother's feeling about this?_

 _Am I causing them pain?_

"Leo lost his voice Don" Raph says.

Don looks at me and says "Leo your body won't be able to take any more if this continues. You haven't been sleeping, eating, and you're getting sicker and sicker. I-I mean are you trying to starve yourself or something?!" Don yells.

I put my head down in shame but say… " _I'm not trying to starve myself_. _I just can't keep my food down._ _And I can't sleep because every time I close my eyes I see all of you dead."_

All their eyes widen but then notice that I was communicating with them through mind. "Then why do you fall asleep so easily with Raph?" Mikey asked.

" _When I know one of you is close to me I know you're not dead. It helps me a lot to know one of you guys is there. I know I messed up by not telling you that I wasn't sleeping or eating. I know you guys are hurting. I can see it in your eyes and I'm sorry."_

"No need to be sorry Leo. It's just were all brothers and we have to stick together. Remember no turtle left behind" Raph says.

I nod then my stomach growls…loud. I flush red and put my head down. My brothers laugh and my face flushes even more.

"Alright what you want to eat? How about pizza?!" Mikey says grinning widely

"No Mike Leo can only have light stuff remember he can't keep it down" Don says.

"So what is he going to eat?" Mikey asked.

"Start with some soup and tea. And add herbs to the tea" Don answers.

Mikey nods then runs to the kitchen singing something about Crognard the Barbarian. When Don starts checking my throat, I look at Raph and notice he was looking at me. Our eyes lock and we just stare. We must have been like that for a while when Mikey comes in with my soup.

"Here bro"

I take the tray and start eating slowly. As soon as I the soup went down my throat it came right back up. I moved the tray and threw up in the garbage right below my feet. Raph jumps up and runs to my side cursing up a storm. After all the bile was gone Raph lifted me up.

"Raph bring him to the tub and clean him please and try to bring his temp down, Mike and I will clean up in here" Don says.

Raph walks to the bathroom and I hear the water on. My eyes drop but as soon as my shell hit the cold water my eyes widened and I whimpered.

"It's alright I got to bring your temp down Don said" Raph says.

 _Temp? What temp? When did don say I have a temp? I have a fever?_ Raph gently pours cold water onto my head. This makes me shiver and whimper.

"Shh it's ok" Raph cooed

" _You're a softie"_

"…No I'm not"

 _Raphael's Point Of View_

I watch as Leo starts to fall asleep in the tub. I chuckle softly "Can you stay up so I can dry you off"

" _No I can do it…myself"_

I roll my eyes as Leo tried to get up. "You can't even lift your arms bro let me help" I say

By the look on Leo's face I knew that I had won. I help him out of the tub I sat him on top of the toilet seat.

" _I just got washed and you sit me onto of a toilet seat"_ I hear Leo say.

"I cleaned it so calm down Mr. Perfect" I say

"… _Please don't call me that"_

I look up at Leo and he's looking somewhere else so I drop the subject. After I finish drying him I put his mask back on and throw his gear in the laundry basket. I put one of his arms around my shoulders and slowly start walking. I notice I'm carrying most of Leo's weight so I pick him up bridal style. His head falls onto my arm and he starts snoring softly. I smile softly but then frown, knowing that isn't going to last long. I sign then continue walking to the lab.

"I think I got his temp down a bit" I say as I enter the lab.

"Good lay him on the cot" Don says cleaning something off.

"Why are there 2 cots?" I ask as I lay Leo down in one.

"Well, you're his cuddle bud remember?" Mikey says grinning.

I growl and was ready to pounce on Mikey when Don stopped me.

"I would let you but Leo's sleeping" Don whispers

"Fine…Now get out and get some rest" I say shooing them out of the lab.

"Have funny…cuddle buddy" I hear mike say.

Just before he walked out I tripped him and he fell on his face. "Ow Raph!" Mikey yells rubbing his nose.

"Shh!" Don says as he points to Leo who was stirring slightly.

I shut the lab door quietly and lay down on the cot next to Leo " _Thank you"_

My eyes widen then I grin "Your welcome"

 _Leo's pov_

" _Hello?" I say as I continue walking towards the never ending darkness._

" _Leo!" I turn around and see Raph being held by shedder with a knife at his neck._

" _Put him down!" I yell as I grab my katanas_

" _Tell me where your master is and I will spare his life" the shredder says._

" _N...no Leo don't…ugh do it" Raph says struggling in shredder's grip_

 _What do I do?_ _No my brother come first…I'm sorry master splinter_

" _I'll bring my master to you i swear on my honor just please put my brother down" I say_

" _Ok but…"_

 _My eyes widen ad shredder slit the knife across Raph's throat._

" _No!"_

 _I run to Raph's body and gently lift him up._

" _Raph? No please Raph"_

 _Raph gives one last breath and his body falls limp._

" _Raphhhhhh!"_

I sit up in bed only to see Don sitting in a chair looking at me worriedly.

" _Where's Raph?"_

Don jumps and smiles shyly. "Sorry I'm not use to this mind talking"

" _Don please tell me where Raph is"_

"Oh hold on let me get him'

I nod and suddenly think back to my nightmare.

 _The darkness,_

 _Shredder,_

 _Raph's…lifeless body._

"Leo what's wron'?"

I look up and see Raph walking to me looking curious.

"… _nightmare"_

"Was it about me Leo?" Raph asked as he sat next to me.

I suddenly saw blood flowing freely from Raph's neck. I gasped and scoot away

"Leo?" Raph asked.

I blink and look at Raph's neck. No blood. Good.

" _I'm fine. I-I-I thought I saw something"_

"Leo that's it! Now you're hallucinating! You ether tell us about your nightmares or I will force it out of you!" Don yells walking up to me clearly getting annoyed.

Raph stands between Don and I and says "Don we can't force it out of 'im! Like you said he needs time!"

Suddenly darkness filled my vision as I felt myself falling forward.

 _Mikey's pov_

I've never seen Donnie so angry. Raph's anger is normal but Don…remind me not to get on his bad side. I look at Leo and notice him swaying slightly.

"Leo?" I asked fearfully.

Suddenly Leo pitch forward I cry out as I jumped to catch Leo. He struggled with his weight and notice my other brothers stop arguing and are now screaming Leo's name.

"See you guys are stressing him with your arguing! He said he'll tell us when he's ready but right now our big brother is sick and is getting sicker!" I yell cradling Leo holding him tighter when Raph reaches for him.

"I'm not gonna hurt 'im Mike I just want to bring him to his room instead of being on the floor" Raph says guilt showing in his eyes.

I let Raph pick up Leo bridal style and I follow Raph as he walks to Leo's room. I ran ahead to open the door and say "I'm going to bed…take care of him…cuddle buddy" I say smirking and closing the door to block the sai that was throw at me.

 _Donatello's Point Of View_

 _I'm a bad brother, Raph's right I shouldn't force it out of him_ I thought as I walked to me and Mikey's room.

"Goodnight D" Mikey says sleepily.

"Night little bro" then I feel asleep.

 _…_

I woke up and smelled eggs so I got up headed to the kitchen. Mike and Raph were at the table eating.

"Morning Donnie!" Mikey yells

I grumble and go to the coffee machine. "Where's Leo?" I ask I pour coffee into my cup.

"He's still sleepin" Raph says.

I nod then sit and the table. Mike hands me a plate of eggs and then I remembered "What did you make Leo? he can only eat light foods"

"I gave him piece sweet bread, a bowl of soup and tea with herbs" Mike says grinning happily.

"Good"

The kitchen door slides open and Leo came in. I grimace at the black circles under Leo's eyes.

"Morning bro" Raph says

" _Good morning"_ Leo says rubbing his eyes then tying his mask on. Mikey puts Leo's plate on the table and I saw hesitant look on Leo's face. After we all finish, Raph went to his punching bag and Leo went to mediate while me and Mikey played video games. About an hour later the lair door opened.

LH walked in and said "It's time"

I went in the dojo and nodded Raph who did the same

"LH is here"

Leo looks at me in confusion and I bite my lip…We forgot to tell him "Just come on you'll um see why he's here"

Leo seemed to except Raph's answer and walked out of the dojo. Once Leo was out the door Raph turned to me anger clearly written on his face.

"You didn't tell him" Raph hissed

"I was a little busy!" I hissed back

We glared at each other then we walked out into the living room where everyone else was sitting.

" _So what's going on?"_

"Well…LH is going to help me with you um…therapy session"

" _Therapy? I don't need therapy don"_ Leo says standing up.

"It's to help you bro" Mikey says softly

" _I don't care"_

"Leo you need help your getting sick and-"

"I'M DON'T NEED THER-!" Suddenly Leo starts coughing out blood and falls to his knees, but I then realized...Leo just talked.

"Get a sedative and my penlight!" I scream.

Mikey jumps up and Raph looks like a nervous wreck. Mikey hands the sedative and I put it in Leo's neck. He immediately fell unconscious into Raph's arms.

"Raph tilt Leo's I need to check his throat"

Raph does as I ask and I shine the light. I grimace at the tearing in his throat. LH comes over to look and also grimaces at the sight.

"We should probably clean out his throat, give him pain killers and also let him rest" LH says picking up Leo's limp body. I turn back to see the worries faces of my red and orange clad brothers, I give them a small smile then shut the door.

 _Raph's pov_

I lay with Leo in my arms and but he moans and starts twisting under my grip. "Bro hey come on" I shake his shoulder and he jumps up. His hazel eyes, blurry and unfocused.

"It's ok bro it was just a dream" I say

He takes in shaky breath and nods. "…I'm a failure" Leo whispers grabbing the glass of water and taking sips slowly.

" One. You shouldn't be talkin' you have tearing in your throat and…Leo what make you think you're a failure?"

"In every single dream you-i- can't stop one of you guys from dying and I know if master Splinter were alive…he'd be disappointed" Leo says

"No bro don't say that. You're not a failure and Splinter wouldn't be disappointed" I say gently.

"Good night Raph"

"…Good night Leo"

 _Leonardo's Point Of View_

 _Nightmares. There so annoying. What's the point of them? To haunt you? To make you scream? There's no point._

"Leo?"

I look at Raph as he came in with food. "Here's some soup"

I take the bowl gently and eat slowly After I finished I give it to Raph and he sat down looking upset. "What's wrong?"

Raph signs then looks at me and says "Leo…would you try a therapy session with LH?"

My eyes widened at Raph's question.

"Leo if you don't want to its fine were not forcing you" Raph says softly.

"I don't know Raph I'll think about it" I say

"Hey no talking yet your voice is still a little hoarse"

I yawn and Raph chuckles softly. "Tired already Fearless?"

I lay down and move over as he lays with me. "I know I shouldn't be talking but I want to thank you"

"Why?"

"For helping me. I've been through so much and I feel bad that I didn't tell you in the first place"

"I'll do anything for you Leo you're my brother and my best friend. I get we argue but I'll never leave you hanging anymore I love ya bro" Raph says gently

"I love you too…Raph?"

"Hmm?"

"I think I'm willing to try a therapy session with LH" I say my eyes drooping.

"That's great I'll talk to Donnie tomorrow"

I nod and felt myself sleeping in the comfort of Raph's arms

 _Raphael's Point Of View_

"Hey" I whisper not wantin to wake Leo up as Don walks in the room.

"Hey Raph...is he ok?" Don asked sitting in the chair across from where I sat.

"Yea...he said he'll try a therapy session with LH" I say as Donnie nods in happiness

I nod and then frown when Leo whimpers and groans. _He wasn't asleep for 5 minutes and he's already havin one. No wonder why he can't sleep_. I thought and am surprised when Leo's eyes flutter opens, tears falling gently.

"I'm sorry" Leo cries shutting his eyes tightly.

I pull him into a hug and Leo pulls me to him desperate to be held. He cries softly into my chest calling all of our names ever so softly. I know I don't like showing emotions but right now Leo needs me…and I'm going to be there for him.

 _Donatello's Point Of View_

I hate this. Leo's nightmares seem to be getting worse and we're doing everything we can. Raph is the one who changed throughout all this. He became what Mikey calls _"The Cuddle Buddy"_ and he's been a big softie. He may be a hothead but he loves all of us. I watch as Leo starts to cry and Raph starts comforting him. I just hope our big bro will get better soon.

 _Michelangelo's Point Of View_

I'm getting tired of this, _When did these nightmares start? How did Leo lose his voice? What made him throw up blood? How did we not notice he was getting sick? How can we fix this? When will we stop being bad brothers?_ I wonder the last question the most. Leo does everything he can for us. Like last month when he was sick with the flu, we went out on patrol and got ambushed by the Foot but somehow Leo came to the rescue and fainted at the end of battle.

"How is he?" I asked when Donnie came out of Leo's room.

"Had another nightmare in less than 5 minutes." Don says sitting down sulking

"…Donnie?"

"Yes Mikey?"

"...Is Leo ever going to get better?" I ask tears coming to my eyes.

"Come here" Don says holding his arms open, I climb into them and break down completely.

"Were horrible brothers. How didn't we notice this?!" I say scream

"I don't know bro...I just don't know"

 _Raphael's Point Of View_

I cover Leo in a blanket and gently rub his back but he coughed violently and I sat him up worry written across my face. After he was done he leaned against me groaning slightly.

"Leo?"

His eyes flutter open and he looked at me

"...Raphie?"

I hesitate but say "Yea?"

"I hate nightmares" Leo says softly.

"So do I... Go to sleep bro"

…

We all sit around the living room as LH starts asking Leo questions.

"Hello Leonardo"

"...Hello" Leo whispers

"So I've been hearing about you not sleeping nor eating. Would you like to tell me why? and remember I'm just trying to help you"

"...I've been having nightmares LH" Leo says looking at his hands.

"So I've heard. Has your brother been helping you since they found out" LH asked.

"Yea they have"

"Why didn't you tell them sooner?" LH asked.

"I don't know"

"that's not answer Leonardo"

"I don't know I just COULDN'T!" Leo yells.

"Be careful with your throat Leo you still have tearing in it" Don says

"Whatever…" Leo huffed

"Leo how long has these nightmares been going on?" Don asked not taking his eyes off his paper

"I don't a …couple month at least"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN A MONTH!? YOU SAID A FEW WEEKS!"

My eyes widened as Leo gets up, pointing a finger at Don. "DON'T YOU DARE! YEA ITS MY FAULT I DIDNT TELL YOU BUT IT'S NOT MY FAULT THAT YOU DIDNT NOTICE!"

"WELL IT'S NOT MY FAULT YOUR BUNDLE UP YOUR THOUGHTS MAYBE IF YOU JUST TOLD US NONE OF THIS WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED LEO!" Don yelled.

"…I know"

…

Weeks passed and we noticed Leo was starting to recover, slowly. The dark circles under his eyes were slowly disappearing but his nightmares are still there. Donnie thinks something is making Leo have nightmares but Leo doesn't think so.

"Guys!"

I looked up to see a tired looking Donnie running in with a papers flying. "Shh" I say as Leo started to stir.

"I found out why Leo's having nightmares"

"Really?" Mikey asked

"Remember the mushrooms we faced last year?" Donnie asked.

"The one that made us see our worst fears?" I asked

"Yea we were exposed to the mushroom toxin and since we were hit once Leo must have been hit multiple times" Donnie says

"So what do we do?" Mikey asked

"I need a blood sample and we have to find a mushroom to create an antidote" Don says

"But didn't Leo destroy them all?"

"I don't know maybe we might find one"

"And if not...?" I asked not taking his eyes off Leo.

"Then I don't know..."

…

"Thanks for watching Leo for us April" I say

"No problem"

"I don't need a babysitter" Leo says giving us a glare.

"We know but what if something happens to you while we're gone?" Mikey asked.

"I get the point but what are you guys doing anyway?"

"We're going on...patrol" Donnie lies

"Ok be safe"

"Yea we know Fearless" I say as we all leave

 _Leonardo's Point Of View_

"It's obvious their lying where are they really going April?" I say turning to April's guilty face.

"They went on patrol" April says not looking into my eyes.

"Surreee" I say looking at the TV.

"How you holding up?" April asked changing the subject.

"Good but the nightmares aren't going away" I say looking at the ceiling

"Do you want to talk about it?"

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath as I started thinking about my nightmares.

 _My brothers._

 _Sensei._

 _Dead._

 _Injured._

 _Killed._

 _Because of my failure_

"Leo?"

"No I'm fine and I don't want to talk about it…" Then we sat in silence. I must have fell asleep when I suddenly felt someone shake my shoulders.

"Leo? Bro wake up"

I open my eyes to see Raph. "I'm up"

"Donnie wants you in lab"

"I found out what's causing your nightmares." Donnie says when we enter. "Remember the mushrooms we faced last year the ones you destroyed?"

"Yea"

"How many times were you sprayed?"

"I don't more than 16 times I think"

"Well we were only sprayed once so when I took your blood sample you had several amounts of mushroom toxin in your blood stream so we went to the sewers were we found you unconscious and we found some of the what Mikey called it "Mushroom guts" and took a sample, made a cure and gave it to all of us, April and Casey and now you" Donnie explain.

"Will my nightmares be gone?"

"They should be"

...

"Then do it"

"Sorry but we can't now" Donnie says

"Why not?" I asked

"Well before we left I slipped um... sleepingpillsintoyourtea" Donnie says quickly

"Really Donnie you know I don't like sleeping pills" I said rolling my eyes.

"I know I know I'm sorry but we can't mix the sleeping pill substance with the antidote"

"So when can I take it?"

"Probably tomorrow morning, now head to bed I can see your tired"

I whisper a good night to my brothers and head upstairs with Raph behind me. "It's finally happening, no more nightmares"

"I know no more sufferin' bro"

 _"Leo help!"_

 _I turn around to see knives at my brother's necks._

 _"Give up Leonardo" a deadly voice spit out._

 _"Never Shredder"_

 _"Fine"_

 _Shredder snapped his fingers and I scream out when one of the foot cut Mikey's throat._

 _"Mikey!"_

 _"Tell me where Yoshi is" shredder says_

 _"No!"_

 _Suddenly Donnie's was neck was snapped and his body fell lifelessly to the ground._

 _"Donnie!"_

 _I tried to get to there said but the foot had me tied up._

 _"Poor poor Raphael" shredder says walking around Raph._

 _"Let me go you ugly-!" Raph starts but the knife gets closer to his neck drawing a thin line of blood._

 _"Get away from him!"_

 _"Tell me where Yoshi is!"_

 _"He lives in the sewers!" I yell out wanting to protect my last brother._

 _"I don't believe you"_

 _"It's true!" I yell_

 _"Kill him"_

 _Then Raph was stabbed in the neck._

 _"Raph! NOOOOOOOOOOO!"_

 _Raphael's Point Of View_

"Raphie...please...shredder no. ughh" Leo groans as he starts shaking uncontrollably

"LEO?! DONNIE!"

"What's happening?!" Donnie yelled running into the room, Mikey right behind him.

"He won't wake up! He's having a nightmare!"

Suddenly Leo started to choke.

"That's it Donnie give him the shot!" I yelled can't stand watching Leo struggle to breathe.

"But-"

"No buts do it NOW!"

"Mikey can-"

"On it!" Mikey says running out the room

"HURRY!"

"Here!"

Donnie grabs the needle, finds a vein and pour the contents in.

"Check if he's breathing" Donnie says

I put 2 fingers on his neck and listen. "He's breathing" I say signing in relief.

"Why did that happen?" Mikey asked

"I don't know but we gave him the cure he should be ok" Donnie says

"What if Leo dies?" Mikey asked.

"Stop. He's not gonna die Mikey...he's gonna be ok...i know it" Raph says looking at his pale brother

 _Leonardo's Point Of View_

 _What happened?_

 _Why is it so dark?_

 _"Leonardo?"_

 _I turn around and gasp, tears springing into my eyes._

 _"Master Splinter"_

 _Splinter opens his arms and I run into them._

 _"How I have missed you my son" Master Splinter says hugging me tighter._

 _"I missed you too father"_

 _"You are more at eased my son... I had to watch you suffer through your nightmares and I couldn't get to you my son I'm sorry"_

 _"It's not your fault and I am more at ease" I answer breaking from the hug looking at my father._

 _"Leonardo you must return to your brothers they need you"_

 _"They don't love me...they hate me" I say looking down in shame._

 _"That's is not true your brothers love you and they need you, so go back to them my son"_

 _"I will...thank you master splinter" I say giving him a hug._

 _"Fare well my son say hello to your brothers for me" Splinter says as I disappear._

I open my eyes to see my brothers worried faces. "What happened?" I asked as Raph helps me sit up.

"...Nightmare...we couldn't wake you" Raph says as he gave me a hug obviously worried. Donnie and Mikey joined the hug and Leo's eyes widened when he felt hot tears roll down his shoulders.

"Guys it's ok, I'm ok" I say holding my brothers tight to me.

"...Leo promise me no US that you'll never hold stuff in cause that's what triggered the fever and your too skinny so we're gonna be on you for now on" Donnie says

"I Hamato Leonardo swear to never keep my feeling in again" I say crossing my heart

"Good now I'm starving!" Mikey says

"Splinter said hello" I say as my brothers have more tears coming down their eyes.

"I miss him" Mikey sniffed smiling slightly.

"I do too Mikey" I say as Raph holds me tighter, giving me comfort. I feel myself suddenly drifting off.

"Go to sleep bro, rest up" I hear Raph say as a blanket is draped over me.

"Night Fearless"

"Night Leo"

"Night dude"

 _Raphael's Point Of View_

"I'm going to order pizza" Mikey says walking out the room.

"Do you think he's gonna have any nightmares?" I asked Donnie.

"I hope not the mushroom toxin is gone" Donnie says as he stroked Leo's head, luring him into a deeper sleep.

"I'm leaving to get the pizza!" Mikey yells

"I'm coming with!" Donnie yells

"Shhh!"

"Sorry" Donnie says running after Mikey

 _Leonardo's Point Of View_

"2 days!" I yell jumping out of bed only for Raph to catch me as I stumble

"Yea you've been asleep for 2 days. Don said ya body needed to catch up on sleep so don't worry we did all of your chores" Raph says making me lay down.

"All of them?" I ask smirking

"All. Of. Them." Raph answers smiling

"I'm getting in the shower" I say getting up slowly.

"No!"

"Raph I feel gross and I think a shower will help" I say looking at Raph desperately.

"Raph he's right it might do him some good" Donnie says stepping into the room.

"Ugh! Fine! Take a bloody shower!" Raph says storming out of the room.

"What's his problem?" Mikey asked walking in the room

"Doesn't want Leo to take a shower for some reason"

"He's scared something's going to happen to me" I answer staring the door where Raph left

"But you're going to be in the shower not going topside" Mikey says

"He's got every right to be scared. He stayed with me everything and he experienced it worse than you guys did" I say

"...Grr I hate it when your right" Donnie and Mikey says at the same time

"I'm going to talk to him then I'm taking a shower" I say slowly walking to Raph's room feeling 2 sets of eyes on me.

 _Raphael's Point Of View_

I have no idea why I'm mad. There's nothin wrong with taking a shower. It's just what if something happens while he's in there? What if he pass-

 _Knock knock_

"Raph it's me Leo"

I open the door and Leo starts talking.

"I'm sorry that your mad but I know your worried I just wanted to take a shower"

"I know I don't know why I was mad I'm just...tired" I answer

"Then sleep" Leo says smiling and walking to the shower keeping the door open a crack. "Smart move Fearless" I whisper sitting on the couch waiting for my almost recovered brother.

…

It's been 3 weeks and Leo is recovering nicely. I still sleep with him just in case he has a relapse. Mikey makes fun of me still but I chose to ignore it. Surprised? So am I. Me. Raphael Hamato. Not chasing Mikey? O lord what's happening to me.

"RAPH!"

I snap out of my thoughts to see Leo in front of me snapping his fingers.

"Jeez I got worried for sec" Leo smirks sitting next to me.

"Don't get your shell in a twist I was just thinking" I grumble

"About?"

"...You and how I haven't killed Mikey yet"

"Kinda surprised you haven't yelled at him ether but it's good for me I can't stand breaking up your fights sometimes" Leo says with a frown

"Leo can I ask you something?"

"Of course" Leo says looking my way with his big blue eyes.

"Why didn't you tell us about your nightmares" I asked

 _Leonardo's Point Of View_

"You want an honest answer?"

"Yes Fearless I do" Raph answer looking at me sternly.

"I wanted to tell you but I didn't think you would care to be honest and w-"

"Wouldn't care! Are you crazy!? We're brothers Leo!"

"But you and the others always go and make fun of me! You start questioning my orders and my leadership! When you guys just change into battle without thinking first something bad always happens! Then Splinter gets mad at me because we failed the mission and came back with cuts and bruises!"

"Leo we do care" Donnie says worry showing in his eyes.

"Doesn't feel like it" I grumbled sitting down putting my head in my hands feeling a headache coming on.

"Well it's true and were sorry for always giving you a hard time and causing stress. But how do you think we felt as kids since you never played with us?" Mikey asked giving me a glare

"Mikey!"

"No it's fine but guess what Mikey I'm sorry that I never got to play with you as a kid. I'm sorry Master Splinter always made train when I became leader which was by the way at 8 years old HINT HINT! I'm sorry for being a bad leader. I'm sorry for not saving Splinter. I'm sorry for giving you guys hard time even when all you guys do is complain about everything I DO! Sorry for all the times you got hurt and most of all sorry for being the brother you guys never wanted."

With that I walked out of the lair

 _Donatello's_ _Point Of View_

"Nice going Mikey" Raph growls. Mikey puts his head down and mumbles a sorry. "We need to go after him"

"I think he just needs sometime alone" I say

"He's not supposed to be alone don't you get needs us Donnie and if he doesn't he's gonna start keeping everything in again and everything that we just stopped will happen again so I'm going either way" Raph says walking out.

 _Raphael's_ _Point Of View_

"Leo! Fearless!" I yell walking around looking for my brother. God everything was getting better then it all turned around.

"Leo!"

"No need to yell... I'm right here"

"Leo" I sigh in relief

"Surprised you came" Leo stated looking me. I can still see some off those darn dark circles under his eyes.

"Of course I did. And Mikey didn't mean what he said"

"Yes he did and it's fine to be honest it felt good to get that all off my chest"

"See all is good" Mikey says coming around the corner with Donnie "But I am really sorry Leo"

 _Leonardo's_ _Point Of View_

"I love you guys so much" I say

"Love you too"

"Same"

"Ditto"

"Let's go home" I say all of brothers getting up arms wrapped around each other.

 _They were right._

 _All I needed was them._

 _No turtle left behind._


	2. Author's Note PLEASE READ!

Its been a while huh! Well I just celebrated my B-day. And I've been dealing with family but, I redid Leo's Nightmares so please check that out and please my fellow Fanfictioners may you please Subscribe to my YouTube Channel! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!

Here's the url: channel/UCHISRBsyrtcjKpBAYrrVuug

THANKS TO ALL OF U! XOXOXOXOXOXOXXOXOXOX


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